Madison Laib | Emmaus Tribune: A senior's letter to her freshman self

Dear Freshman Madison,

You probably don't know me. That may sound weird since I am you, but I think you would be really surprised as to who you are at the beginning of your senior year. You're going to change so much. There are so many things that I would want to tell you but I'm going to try to keep it as short as I can. To begin, you're going to be at Emmaus all four years. I know right now you're thinking about only staying for the 1-year certificate, but you're not going anywhere! Not only will you stay at Emmaus, but you're going to be in Dubuque after graduation. Congratulations Madison, you have a job lined up in Dubuque! That should take some weight off your shoulders and encourage you through the computer classes.

You're going to learn to love this place. The years at Emmaus are not always going to be easy, but it will be the best thing for you. You're going to truly "grow up" at this school. You'll learn how to have fun and be goofy but then switch to a professional or serious conversation. You'll learn how to discuss spiritual topics without feeling awkward. You're going to learn to love God's Word in a way that you never knew was possible for you. This is the place where you're going to meet amazing people and make a lot of new friends. If you allow it, this place and the experience here will shape who you are going to be.

Most importantly, this is going to be the place where you find your identity in Christ. Growing up, you were the sporty girl, and in high school, you were the basketball player. You had your identity tied with basketball and the accolades that came with it. This is a problem, obviously. Unfortunately, you won't see how big of a problem it really is until later in college. The main point I want to get across in this letter is how I found my identity, not in basketball, but in Christ. If you could understand this early on, you would be much better off.

I know one of the reasons that you wanted to play basketball in college is because of the social aspect. That bond you have with teammates automatically leads to friends who have similar interests. While this is good, you only consider yourself as a basketball player and nothing else. You think that if you aren't a basketball player, you aren't Madison Laib. This is hard for me to write because it's not too long ago that I remember thinking this. Finding your identity in Christ is so important. I'm going to tell you a few key events that helped me find my identity. They may seem like they're not related, but they are in hindsight.

1. Forgive those who hurt you in high school.
   You're not going to do this until second semester, but I wish you could do it right away. I know your senior year of basketball didn't end well and you want to hold onto things so you blame somebody. This isn't going to help you get over it. In fact, it's going to make you not be able to trust Coach Graw right away. The words that were said to/about you were very influential. They will continue to make you doubt yourself as a leader for a long time. This is why it so important to forgive and forget, even if people don't ask for it.
2. Listen to Coach Graw from the beginning.
   Coach Graw is going to push you way out of your comfort zone. On the basketball court, he's going to ask more of you than anybody else. He sees the potential that you have before you even fully realize it. Beyond basketball, he's going to push you to be the leader that you can be. He won't just push, he will also give you guidance to help you become this leader. This won't just shape you as a basketball player, but also as a person.
3. Don't let your only goals be the individual awards.
   I know you are saying that they aren't the most important, but you and I both know that they are extremely important to you. I know that you would never let them get in the way of the team's purpose or goals, but be very careful. While they are good for individual goals, don't let them be so important to you that it hurts everyone involved. Going into college, you had never gone backward in your awards, but that is going to change. I wish I could actually go back and tell you this before it hurts you and the people around you. You will go "down" an award, but this will be a key moment as you grow and mature. Don't let what a board of people, coaches, a plaque, or a certificate define who you are as a person.
4. Don't let your "basketball" identity be found in scoring.
   You wouldn't understand this until your Junior year, so I'm going to tell you now.
   
   There is going to be a game where you only score 3 points. However, your team is talented enough that we still ended up winning by a lot. You felt like you didn't contribute to the win in the only way you know how, scoring. In the past, if you didn't score, your team didn't win. This is a new experience for you and it's hard to comprehend it all.
   
   What's wrong about this kind of attitude is that people will take it in a bad way. They're going to think you only care about scoring and not the team win. I know that's not what you're thinking, but that's what people will see. Coach Graw is going to pull you aside after this game and point to the 3 under your points total. He's going to say a lot, but one phrase is going to stick with you, "Madison, your identity is not in this number. You mean more to this team than just your scoring."
   
   New day, New game.
   
   Not only does your team win, but you will score a career high of 39 points. Again, be careful with how you handle situations like this. People are watching how you react to everything. Again, Coach Graw will pull you aside and point to the 39 under your points total. He will say the same thing as the night before, "Madison, your identity is not in this number. You mean more to this team than just your scoring."
   
   This is the turning point in your career. Coach Graw said the same thing on both your career high and one of your career lows. You had heard things like this from him for two years, but this is the moment. All of a sudden, there is a lot more to the game than just scoring. I wish you could know this going into your college years.
5. You can't please everybody.
   This realization started your senior year of basketball and it continues into college. This won't affect who you are or how you act but it's still a hard realization. There's going to be people who won't like you or what you're doing for no apparent reason. While this can hurt at times, keep being you. Don't stop being real. Don't stop loving this game. You know what you need to change to improve yourself. Change for the sake of your team and yourself, not just because somebody wants you to. Know who you are in Christ and that you were created the way you are for a reason.

Enough of me giving you pointers and reminders! Let's make a shift here: your love for the game will begin to shift to a leader/coach mindset. You'll start to look past the game and see what Coach Graw has been seeing all these years. An believe it or not, you're going to be excited for your life after school. You'll be excited to work a real job, get an apartment, buy a car, and hopefully coach. I know even trying to think about that right now is scary, but when the time comes, you'll be ready… kind of.

I know this letter has been a lot about basketball, but being part of this basketball program takes up a lot of your time. While there are going to be hard things that you will encounter while you're at Emmaus, you're going to overall love your experience here. Put your work in early, in basketball, academics, and spiritually. Enjoy your freshman year because you have a lot more free time now than you will in a couple years! Have some fun and be spontaneous all while still being committed in everything that you're involved with.

I'm glad I was able to write this letter to you, Freshman Madison. It hasn't been easy reflecting on all the hard things that you will encounter. But it's also amazing to see how far we've come. As much as I wish you could actually know all of this as a freshman, I'm glad you don't. Everything isn't smooth sailing, but you learn and grow through everything, good and bad. Cherish these years at Emmaus because soon you'll be looking at your last one.

Goodbye for now Freshman Madison!

Love,
Senior Madison